#5: Name-Calling

derogatoryWhat’s up ho? Hey Hooker-Face.

Women adore calling their lady friends by these lovely monikers. It’s like an insult filled with genuine love. If a woman fails to refers to you in those terms, you are not a true friend. She does not feel comfortable with you. Perhaps there is no trust. Period.

But, why the names that bring about images of women of the night? Women of, shall I say, Ill-repute? That is quite difficult for most women to explain. Perhaps we think we are being clever. Maybe there is some truth in what we are calling each other.

In reality, no woman wants to be called a “slut.” That’s one of the worst possible insults one female can bestow upon another. But, when your best friend Lindsay calls your cell and greets you with a “Hey skank,” you’re okay with it. You’re okay with it, because the two of you are cool. It wasn’t out of spite. It was out of affection. Lindsay doesn’t really think you are selling yourself on the street corner. Lindsay doesn’t believe that you sleep around with several men a week. And, even if you did, you two are ‘girls.’ It’s totally okay. No one really needs to know the details of your seedy sex life anyway. You slut.

Here is a compiled list of the affectionate names women call each other (and my personal favorites), whether it be through simple conversation, the phone, texting, and anything else:

*Ho, Hooker-face, slut, skank, fatty, streetwalker, man-eater, C#$%, Twat, Hooch, Hoochie, Ghetto ho, dyke, lesbo, bimbo, Shawty, HoodRat, whore, bitch, be-yotch, tramp, stripper, pole dancer, fat ass, and fugly*

These make me smile. When used appropriately. If we are not ‘down,’ and you call me a fugly– we’re gonna have words.

Keep in mind men, you are not permitted to use these at any point with a lover or a friend. Not even in the playful manner mentioned above. Unless you are gay. It’s kind of like White people using the N-Word. Off limits brotha. Don’t ask why. Just accept it and move on.

Later Be-yotches.


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