#25: Justin Timberlake

JTHe brought Sexy back.

He can sing, dance, write, act and improv on SNL.

He is Justin Timberlake.

Women adore him, men want to be him. He is the shit. What woman on this planet doesn’t have a tiny little crush on this man? What man doesn’t envy the fact that he is banging Jessica Biel? Bootylicious indeed. The man is like a tiny, Southern, adorable Golden God with a mean falsetto.

Justin Timberlake took what women loved about ‘Boy Bands’ and actually survived their inevitable demise in 2000. JT was a prominent member of the Boy Band 2.0’s. You know…The Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees and N’Sync (Note: Boy band 1.0’s include NKOTB and Take That).

How did JT survive and come out on top when his bandmates didn’t fare so well? Setting aside the talent question, Mr. Timberlake reinvented himself.

justifiedFirst Phase: Justified A.K.A. F-U Britney Spears

He shaved off his cute, curly locks from his N’Sync years. I admit, I shed a few tears over this, but when he emerged with the short crop and the man-stubble, I fell in love with him all over again. Then Justified came out. Ladies, you remember. “Cry Me a River”?

Hooker.

That was the big F-off to the Princess of Pop and his cheating ex-girlfriend, Miss Brit Brit. Women wanted to comfort him and kill her in the same breath. Skank. Men still saluted him for tapping that before she got fat and crazy. All in all… a great start.

Second Phase: Super Bowl Sexiness

Get some.

Get some.

Justin performed at the Super Bowl. With Miss Janet. Awesome. Although halftime shows usually blow, I watched this one. About the time I got up to grab another beer and lament yet another championship for the Patriots, Janet’s booby flopped out–and Justin was the one who exposed it. It was kinda hot. I called it Titty-Gate. I’m sure there is another connotation for this event that is cleaner– but if given the choice between classy and funny, I go for humor.
You know you’re laughing.

Anyhoo, this ‘wardrobe malfunction’ was just more excuse to talk about the sexiness that was and is JT.

Step 1...

Step 1...

Third Phase: Timberlake the Actor

Like all singers, JT soon got the acting bug. The thing is, he was kind of good. Black Snake Moan was interesting. Alpha Dog had some potential. And then he did SNL in December of 2006. That was when we were all witness to the brilliance that was and still is Dick in a Box. If you have never seen said short, click here.

Oh yeah. He has gone on to do several spoofs with Andy Samberg and the cast of SNL including my personal fav, Motherlover. Geniuses.

The Trifecta of 2006-2007

The Trifecta of 2006-2007

Phase 4: Future Sex/Love Sounds–Cameron Diaz

He brought Sexy back. Women didn’t even know it was gone until we saw him strut into that club on his music video. And damn– did he bring it back! He had everyone on this album. Snoop Dog, will.i.am, and Three 6 Mafia all participated. It was amazing.

Thank you Timbaland. Thank you for working with JT and helping to nurture his true sexiness. I would thank Nelly Furtado too, but she kinda sucks.

Not only did he put an album out there that kicked ass (I still listen to it),  he did the world tour AND the HBO special. On top of that, JT started dating Cameron Diaz. Sexiness abounds.

Phase 5: Fashion, Food, Collaboration and Biel

In one short period, JT soon became a fashion icon. Hats, Skinny suits and Chucks. Delicious. He opened a few restaurants. Namely, “Southern Hospitality” in New York. He can scoop up some southern hospitality on me any damn time. JT also started collaborating. Whether is was on SNL or with Madonna, dude was everywhere. Women rejoiced.

Dayyyamn. Not fair.

Dayyyamn. Not fair.

And then there was Biel. Jessica Biel.

The ultimate woman. Tall, lean and gorgeous– she has the body of a goddess. They are beautiful together. Her ass is amazing. I mean, I want to squeeze it. I have to say that.

Justin Timberlake ladies and gentlemen. Women love this dude. I honestly don’t think that men can argue with this one. They kinda have man-crushes on him. Look at what he has! If anything, he took Brit’s virginity and has slept with Cameron Diaz and Jessica Biel. Pimp.

One final rumination– JT, I think you should do another Music Video with Andy. Instead of the Color Me Bad vibe, go for the actual Boy Band feel. Maybe get in a fight with Nick Lachey?

Just sayin’…

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10 responses to “#25: Justin Timberlake

  1. Justin Timberlake its beautiful 😀 and man 😛 😦 🙂

  2. Justin Timberlake its man perfect for girl 😛 and its wery wery beautiful and his man man 🙂

  3. Justin Timbelake beautiful man

  4. JT the love of life. He also supports initiatives and plays a huge role being socially responsible.

  5. I’m not a fan of much of what he does, even his stuff on SNL (and I am a fan of the TV staple). But it is true that us men give him props. He does it all. And though Diaz may have been too old for him, I’ll take her over Biel any day. She’s sexy, flirtatious, and bubbly that Diaz. …Always looking like she just rolled out of bed from great sex.

  6. JT on the “Andy Gibb Talk Show” on SNL with Jimmy Fallon- the best thing of all time. seriously, true comedy.
    and he doesn’t think he’s cool. he actually knows he’s kinda a nerd.
    cue wedding bells 🙂

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