I can save him. I can change him.
I swear. All he needs is the love of a good woman. That woman is obviously me.
In all seriousness, this tape will play through a woman’s clouded mind at least once in her little life. Probably more than once.
The appeal of the Bad Boy to the average woman can be completely befuddling to the average man. Why is it that women will stay with these jokers when they cheat, beat people up, smoke, drink, throw phones and otherwise are total douchebags? Cause They are extremely hot. Those chiseled cheek bones, the cigarette, messy hair, leather pants and philandering nature are all appealing. He won’t be that way forever silly. He just needs my undivided attention, love and loyalty. I can change him; make him a better man. One day he will realize that I am the one.
Duh. It’s Science.
This concept really irritates my husband. “Why in the hell do women do this to themselves?” he questions– looking to me for an answer. Honestly? I don’t really have a good one. The Bad Boy is just so damn sexy. Maybe he’s the guy ladies get all naughty with but never marry. Is that his role? To be a sexual teacher? I married a nice guy (who, mind you, is also a sexual tiger), my friends married nice guys. In general, those that married a Bad Boy are now divorced or headed that way.
Maybe that is it. Bad Boy= Sexual experience (sans strings). Maybe it’s just the fantasy of it all.
Let us discuss some fictional and non-fictional examples, shall we?
1. AC Slater (The Clean Bad Boy)
This is the PG Bad Boy.
He’s the Bad Boy to Zack Morris’ insipid California boy. He was, for many my age, the first real Bad Boy we were secretly coveting. I know that Mario Lopez is a total douche. I didn’t know this when I was 12 and strangely attracted to the guy that threatened to beat up Screech and danced in a leotard. I bet he could of taught Kelly Kapowski a thing or two about Sexual Education. Besides– the Jheri Curl mullet was amazing.
2. Sawyer (Bad Boy with a Heart)
What woman doesn’t want to spend months on a magic island with a shirtless Southern boy who breaks all of the rules? I mean, good God. Sawyer is the ultimate example of the Southern Bad boy. He puts the fat guy down, drinks, shoots guns, sleeps with the hot chick– did I mention he is usually shirtless? To top that off, he is heeelariously sarcastic.
The thing about Sawyer that is so appealing (setting aside his six-pack), is that although he is seriously flawed (which the right girl can ‘fix’), he has convictions. He has a heart. He shows it rarely, but when he does, women everywhere swoon. We are so effing dumb.
3. T.I. (Reformed Bad Boy)
I kind of want to ravage him.
Sure, he went to jail for a year after being caught with semi-automatic weapons, automatic weapons and silencers. Perhaps someone failed to mention to him the illegality of that particular purchase? He was probably going to kill someone. They probably had it coming.
Then, he got caught. Then, he reformed.
Hell, he had a whole record about how he had changed. He won awards for it! He Rocked the Vote. He spoke out against violence. See? Proof that Bad Boys can change. It wasn’t about getting a lighter sentence. Quit being so negative. He might shoot you.
4. Eric Northman (Evil Bad Boy)
Uh…I know I’ve mentioned him before– but damn.
He will straight murder your ass. He will not love you. He will eat you. He may have sex with you but then you will be his lunch. Let me just be the first to say that if I’m going to die, I’m okay with going that way.
Alan Ball and Charlaine Harris(True Blood Creators) came up with this Bad Boy character with no real redeemable qualities. He just is, simply, a Bad Boy. By this I mean he’s a killer. And it is really hot. A good woman might not be able to change him, but she will sure as hell die trying.
5. Colin Farrell (King of the Bad Boys)
What can I say here?
Irish? Check. Smoker? Check. Bad Mouth? Check. Sex Tape with a huge Wanker? Check. Man Whore? Check.
May I present, Colin Farrell. The Ultimate Bad Boy.
I think that as we grow up and become more experienced sexually women begin to understand that the basic Bad Boy is not a keeper. Maybe we learn to use him like he uses us. I think that most of us just wish we had figured it out when we were younger so that we could maximize his usefullness– that whole ‘Sexual Teacher’ thing.
The truth is, you can’t change a Bad Boy. I blame Hollywood for making us think we can. It’s just stupid.
Take the Bad Boy for what he is–a blip on your sexual radar. No stings, no hearts broken.